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Aspect of Polygyny and a Daughter



Aspect of Polygyny and a Daughter

1.Associating polygyny with Islam , as if it were introduced by it or is the norm according to its teachings, is one of the most persistent myths perpetuated in Western literature and media. No text in the Qur'an or Sunnah explicitly specifies either monogamy or polygyny as the norm, although demographic data indicates strongly that monogamy is the norm and polygyny the exception.

In almost all countries and on the global level, the numbers of men and women are almost even, with women typically slightly outnumbering men. As such, it is a practical impossibility to regard polygyny as the norm, since it assumes a demographic structure of at least two-thirds female and one third males (or eighty percent females and twenty percent males, if four wives per male is the norm!) No Qur'anic "norm" is based on an impossible assumption. The Qur'an was revealed by Allah, Who is the creator of males and females. Allah created about equal numbers of human males and females. This is His law in the physical world. It follows that His "norms" in the social realm must be consistent with His norms in the physical realm. Only monogamy fits as a universal norm, with polygamy as an exception.

2. Islam did not outlaw polygyny, as did many other peoples and religious communities; rather, it regulated and restricted it. It is neither required nor encouraged, but simply permitted and did not outlaw. Edward Westermarck gives numerous examples of the sanctioning of polygyny among Jews, Christians and others.

3. The only passage in the Qur'an (4:3) that explicitly addresses polygyny and restricts its practice, in terms of the number of wives permitted and the requirement of justice between them on the part of the husband, was revealed after the battle of Uhud , in which dozens of Muslims were martyred, leaving behind widows and orphans. This seems to indicate that the intent of its continued permissibility, at least in part, is to deal with individual and collective contingencies that may arise from time to time (e. g., imbalances between the number of males and females, created by war). This provides a moral, practical and humane solution to the problems of widows and orphans, who would otherwise surely be more vulnerable in the absence of a husband and father figure in terms of economics, companionship, proper child rearing and other needs.

If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them),then only one...(Qur'an 4:3)

4. It is critically important to point out with regard to polygyny that all parties involved have options. Men may choose to remain monogamous. A proposed second wife may reject the marriage proposal if she does not wish to be party to a polygynous marriage. A prospective first wife may include in her marital contract a condition that her prospective husband shall practice monogamy. If this condition is mutually accepted, it becomes binding on the husband. Should he later violate this condition, his first wife will be entitled to seek divorce with all the financial rights connected with it. If such a condition was not included in the marital contract, and if the husband marries a second wife, the first wife my seek khul' (divestiture), explained in endnote

While the Qur'an allowed polygyny, it did not allow polyandry (a woman's marriage to multiple husbands). Anthropologically speaking, polyandry is quite rare. Its practice raises thorny problems related to the lineal identify of children and the law of inheritance, both important issues in Islamic law.

In the case of polygyny, the lineal identities of children are not confused. They all have the same father and each of them knows his or her mother. In the case of polyandry, however, only the mother is known for sure. The father could be any of the "husbands" of the same wife. In addiction to lineal identity problems, polyandry raises problems relating to inheritance law. For example, which of the children inherits of shares in the estate of a deceased "probable" father?

AS A MOTHER

1. The Qur'an elevates kindness to parents (especially mothers) to a status second only to the worship of Allah.

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. (Qur'an 17:23)

And We have enjoined on every human being (to be good) to his/her parents: in travail upon travail did his/her mother bear him/her and in years twain was his/her weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) destiny." (Qur'an 31:14)

2. Naturally, the Prophet specified this behavior for his followers, rendering to mothers an unequaled status in human relationships.

A man came to Prophet Muhammad (P) asking, "O Messenger of Allah, who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship?" The Prophet (P) said, "Your mother". The man said, "Then, who is next?" The Prophet (P) said, "Your mother". The man said, "Then, who is next?" The Prophet (P) said, "Your mother". The man further asked, "Then who is next?" Only then did the Prophet (P) say, "Your father." (Al-Bukhari)

AS A SISTER IN FAITH (GENERALLY)

1. According to Prophet Muhammad's (P) saying, "Women are but sisters shaqa'iq, or twin halves) of men." this hadith is a profound statement that directly relates to the issue of human equality between the genders. If the first meaning of shaqa'iq is adopted, it means that a male is worth one half (of society), with the female worth the other half. Can "one half" be better or bigger than the other half? Is there a more simple but profound physical image of equality? if the second meaning, "sisters," is adopted, it implies the same. The term "sister" is different from "slave" or "master."

2. Prophet Muhammad (P) taught kindness care and respect toward women in general ("I commend you to be kind to women"). [It is significant that such instruction of the Prophet (P) was among his final instructions and reminders given in the "farewell pilgramage" address given shortly before his passing away.

MODESTY AND SOCIAL INTERACTION

1. There exists a gap between the normative behavior regarding women outlined in the Qur'an and the prevalent reality among Muslims, both as societies in the Muslim world and as communities in the west. Their diverse cultural practices reflect both ends of the continuum -- the liberal West and the ultra-restrictive regions of the Muslim world. Some Muslims emulate non-Islamic cultures and adopt their modes of dress, unrestricted mixing, and behavior, which influence them and endanger their families' Islamic integrity and strength. On the other hand, in some Muslim cultures undue and excessive restrictions for women, if not their total seclusion, is believed to be the ideal. Both extremes seem to contradict the normative teachings of Islam and are consistent with the virtuous yet participate nature of both men and women in society at the time of the Prophet Muhammad (P).

2. The parameters of proper modesty for males and females (dress and behavior) are based on revelatory sources (the Qur'an and authentic Sunnah) and, as such, the regarded by believing men and women as divinely-based guidelines with legitimate aims and divine wisdom behind them. They are not male-imposed or socially imposed restrictions.

3. The near or total seclusion of women is alien to the prophetic period. Interperative problems in justifying seclusion reflect, in part, cultural influences and circumstances in different Muslim countries. There is ample evidence in authentic (sound) hadith supporting this thesis. Women at the Prophet's (P) time and after him participated with men in acts of worship, such as prayers and pilgrimage, in learning and teaching, in the market place, in the discussion of public issues (political life) and in the battlefield when necessary. [ continued on next post ]




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